“Whatever the quality of your marriage now.
It can always be better!!!” (p. 23)
As the cares of the world swirl around you and the tick-tock of time never stops, today, Mom, we are talking about Quality Time.
Not “quantity time”, but “Quality Time” for you and your husband!
When raising our girls there was this big debate about “quantity time vs. quality time”. And…it still is going on today. When my first-born was welcomed into the world there was just an inkling of the “Information Highway”, better known now as the “Internet”.
Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and the like … were not even thought of. In fact, the creators might not of even been born yet, haha!
I cannot even imagine raising children in this CrAzY technological world with apps for everything and “Facebook friends” you have never even smiled at, let alone met.
All of this is so fantastic, creative, helpful, and time-consuming. So who has time for Quality Time? Some you may even ask, “What is Quality Time”? “Is there an app for that”? LOL!
Well, there is an app for that… actually, several. Just google Quality Time, and you will be able to find apps that help see where your time is spent.
These apps will take “TIME” away from “Quality Time”!!!
I know this is what I keep saying over and over. Breathing gives us life. Without breathing we wouldn’t be here. If you really pay attention, you might find that you’re breathing very shallow as you race around in your crazy busy life.
When my girls were little I was driving in my cool, family-style van. (My husband hated having a van, so he made some modifications and put shiny rims on it. When driving around Orange County and LA, I actually got a lot of compliments on “my van”, haha).
One really hot day in the heart of the Temecula Wine Country (not imbibing the fruit of the vine), I was listening to a broadcast (yes, back then is was a broadcast, not a podcast or youtube). A woman was speaking out about the importance of taking notice of how you breathe. I kind of laughed thinking, “What”? Yet, when I focused on my breathing I was consistently breathing shallow. I still do unless I concentrate on breathing deeply, and when I do, I have a sense of balance. Hark! It actually sends much needed CO2 to the brain, promoting clarity and vision.
So…. after the taking several deep breaths, think about your spouse and what his Love Language is. Is Quality Time at the top or near the top of his Love Language list? How about yourself? Do you need or require Quality Time? Is your Love Tank running on empty?
“Time is a precious commodity” (p. 56)
For a person that has Quality Time as their primary or “close to the top” love language, you can fulfill them and their “Love Tank” by doing the following.
As a wife, you can block out a some time to spend with your husband in the ways he likes, giving him your undivided attention, This means no phones, no computers (unless it’s playing music), and no toddlers vying for your attention. Whether it be a date, a walk, just listening, watching his favorite sport or Netflix with him. It all counts as Quality Time that helps to make your spouse feel connected to you.
I know it’s hard to carve out time, however, it is a MUST in your marriage relationship. A marriage cannot thrive without spending quality time practicing any of the other love languages on a regular basis. Believe me, I have been with my man now for over three and a half decades. I know when our marriage is thriving and when it is not. When it’s not, we have to get reconnected with how we give and how we receive love.
Just last week my husband saw one of my posts on Words of Affirmation and while discussing a very recent (recent as in the night before) issue we (I mean he (lol)) had had, he spoke about how he totally forgot Words of Affirmation are pretty high on the top of my list. He was “encouraged” (hehe) by my post, saying that it was a good reminder and that he would work on that.
I confess that I have not always considered his love languages, yet I do know that when I do it adds that extra spark into our marriage and grows our Passion & Romance, strengthens our Relationship, increases our Love, and gives vitality to our marriage.
Be creative. If you are on a budget then get together with other moms and share babysitting with one another. Walks don’t cost anything, picnics at the park or the beach are cost effective.
When my girls were little my girlfriend and I would “trade” with our girls, all 7 of them (YES, 7). Pre-planning for activities, meals, snacks, movies, and popcorn was a must. It was always fun, I believe, because of the pre-planning.
So no matter how short you are in cash or time, there are ways to make it work. The first step is making Quality Time a priority in your marriage.