One of the most common love languages, especially for us girls, is Words of Affirmation.
Affirmations give emotional support and encouragement. Many times couples can be clueless that the words, phrases or tones that they use can emotionally effect each other, especially if speaking to a spouse whose primary love language is Words of Encouragement.
Affirmations include compliments. Who doesn’t like a nice compliment or encouraging words? To encourage is to inspire. And everyone likes to be inspired.
There are so many great professional inspirational motivators in our world today, and it is so easy to listen to a podcast or go on YouTube to be inspired. Tony Robbins is one of my favorites. I always feel inspired and energized just listening to 15 minutes of one of his speeches.
While it is good to be inspired by others, nothing means as much as your spouse’s encouragement. For nothing hurts more than harsh and demeaning words or phrases which devalue one another.
“Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouses perspective” (p. 42).
If words of encouragement is your spouses primary love language, ask questions and study how your spouse gives and receives words of encouragement thus learning how to lift them up in ways that will show them the most love. Plus, it will help motivate your spouse towards whatever those words of encouragement are.
My husband has always encouraged me as a wife, mother, Interior Designer, and as a writer. Which I believe has inspired me to be better at all of these things.
Words of encouragement happens to be my primary love language. That’s why I have a passion for encouraging Moms of young children to strengthen their families. The love languages are an easy way to to do just that.
Love is Kind
Kindness – part of the fruit of the spirit Paul wrote about in the book of Galatians.
(“The fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness…”)
Kind words are so important when we speak. Couples who do not demonstrate kindness to one another will not strengthen their marriage; it will only tear them apart. People shy away from unkind people, especially a person that loves others through encouragement. The tone of a persons voice can also make one draw near or away.
Kindness builds one another up and creates intimacy which always strengthens a marriage.
I find it abrasive when I hear couples who make demands of their spouse instead of requests. Demands are threats to a spouse who is in fact an adult.
Requests give the spouse a choice to honor the desire of their spouse.
Words or phrases like, “Could you”, “Would you”, “Do you think you could” “When you get a chance”… of course, adding Please adds that extra touch of kindness and humbleness.
Using humble words from a humble heart will pitch the desire the right way drawing your spouse in the right direction.
With most of the world communicating via texting and email, it is so important to make an effort to have your words not come across as a demand. I try to be aware of this, adding a salutation like “Hi, Good Morning (happy face)” and “Please and Thank You” to my texts. But sometimes I am in a hurry and send texts that come across more like a demand than a request.
Words of affirmation can help fulfill the basic human need to be appreciated.
Not all people are Words of Affirmation people. In fact, even the kindest person could have Words of affirmation as #5 instead of #1. The beauty of learning your spouse’s love language is that, with an effort of practice and a desire to show love to your spouse and strength, your marriage can last a lifetime..
Thank you for taking your precious time, Mom, to strengthen your marriage.