I am a Gift Giving Lover. “Receiving Gifts” is not as strong of a need as “Giving Gifts” is. Don’t get me wrong…I do love gifts. I mostly cry when given a gift, while my girls giggle and roll their eyes.
I think now that my girls are older that they purposely think of what will make mom cry…LOL! My girls and my sons-in-law recently gave me a photo book for Mother’s Day last year. They actually hired a photographer and went down to a favorite memory spot for me, Lido Island, where I used to tea room model in the restaurants there a gazillion years ago.
When it was time to present the book, they gathered around me with this prettily wrapped gift, and when I realized it was a photo book, I immediately started to cry. In fact, I am tearing up right now.
Oh my, what a sap I am. So, I guess receiving is bigger for me than I thought. HaHaHa! This last Christmas when gathered around friends and family, we all gave and received gifts through Elfster. (It’s the same as picking names out of a hat, but conveniently online). Elfster automatically picks the name of the person for you to buy a gift for. This year my niece’s boyfriend was assigned to give a present to me.
WOW! How precious was the thought process that he (and probably my niece) went through to specifically bless me with a bag full of gifts. He took into consideration my style of fashion, my absolute love of historical books, and not only that, but my love for classic movies too. I am so blessed that, yet again, I am teary eyed just thinking about it.
The year before that my youngest daughter’s boyfriend had me as his Elfster pick and gave me two fabulous “Chapels” (translates to “hat” in Portuguese as he is from Brazil). I asked my daughter if she helped pick them out, and she said, “No, he did it on his own”. And yes, this made me cry too. LOL! So, I guess even though I stated earlier that “Receiving Gifts” is not as strong of a need as “Giving Gifts”, there are exceptions.
Anyway, the point is if your spouse has Gift Giving & Receiving in their top three love languages, then it is something to pay close attention too!
As a Gift Giver, I have always been blessed to give, and as an Interior Designer for over 30 years, it has been so easy to bless my girlfriends with the “Gift of Design”...adding a little touch here and there to their beautiful homes. Christmas Design is my most favorite to do, so I would pick a “Girlfriend of the Year”, contact her husband over summer, and explain what the cost was (only for product, not for design). Then my little elves (my daughters and sometimes nieces) and I would appear and “Deck the Halls”, decorating her whole home and sometimes even catering a Christmas party. Oh, what a joy it is to bless others with the Love Language of Gift Giving!
And, who doesn’t LOVE a gift!
I have a girlfriend whose husband is a total “receiving of gifts” guy. Gifts from anyone he loves, especially from his wife. He appreciates the most swanky gifts, as well as the gifts that hardly cost a thing (especially the gifts of help and quality time).
My husband has always been strong in the gift giving department but not so much in the receiving end. He was always taking friends to the Colorado River, bringing everyone out to dinner, sending me on vacation or bringing my girlfriends to me when we moved to Colorado, and even sold off his jet boat to buy me a custom engagement ring. His employees and clients were recipients of his love language too.
Gosh! Until I started making notes to write about gift giving, I guess I was so used to his generosity that I didn’t realise just how strong his love language is. Actually, he has always kind of meshed Physical Touch & Closeness, Acts of Service and Gift Giving. If this is your Man with several strong Love Languages meshing, you have your work as a wife cut out for you.
So if the budget is tight or time is even tighter, I would like to encourage you as his Wife to try a “little of this and that”. In the past, I have given some gifts to my husband that he has truly enjoyed. On the top of the list is anything to do with motorsports. Formula One tickets, Nascar Racing School, t-shirts, hats, and jackets with racing logos always get a big smile.
Experiencing a rough financial crisis that affected a majority of our business, marriage, and family life, it was a lot more challenging to try to “Gift Give“, so I had to get creative. Instead of filling his stocking with tickets or motorsports’ gifts, I went to the local Costco and Walmart and focused on new underwear, t-shirts, socks, his favourite sweets, and maybe a tool here and there. He was always appreciative of whatever he received.
After the pressure from the financial crisis eased up, I surprised him with a trip to Dublin and Scotland (where his family was from generations ago). This meant so much to him. It was the first time I saw him get choked up over a gift. That was a fantastic year!
So back to taking that breath…
Reflect on some ways you can show love to your man if he is strong in the Love Language Gift Giving & Receiving. Even if it is low on his list, this is definitely part of the whole package of showing and receiving love.
Tips for Gift Giving
- Think quality not quantity.
To make your hubby’s day special, you don’t have to go out and buy something crazy expensive. It will mean SO much more if you get something with sentimental value. For example, you could put together a gift basket of all his favourite things: favourite sweets, books, snacks, movies, etc.
Is there something small he’s been complaining about needing the past few weeks (a new watch band, a wireless mouse, a comfy pillow, etc.). Paying attention to the things he needs will show how much you listen and care for him.
2. Make something with your hands.
This is a great idea to choose if you are short on money or have little ones running around (which usually go hand-in-hand haha!). If he is sentimental, put together a photo album (paper or online) of your times together throughout the years. One of my girlfriends had a boudoir photo shoot done for her husband. It was so fun and she loved getting out of her comfort zone.
An easy way to cheer up his day is to leave a small love note filled with encouragements or even things you adore about him. Get creative! Leave it on his pillow, tape it to the steering wheel, or put it with his lunch.
3. When in doubt, give a gift card out.
If your hubby would rather do things together than get a physical gift, he will love this. Give him a voucher for the movies, go-karts, or even skydiving. Not only does he get to do something enjoyable, but you are also giving him a memory he will cherish for years to come.
This idea works perfectly for men who are picky when it comes to clothes shopping. You can give them a gift card to their favourite store and tell them to pick their heart’s desire.
4. The 12 Days of Birthdays
Whether it is his birthday, Christmas, an anniversary, or Valentine’s Day, try spreading out the gift giving process. That way he will have something to look forward to each day. It carries the excitement over to a whole 12 days of fun.
For example, buy a mix of gifts big and small (a bag of coffee or a new watch) and wrap them all up. You can even get him 12 parts to a whole, such as phone accessories for his new phone or parts of a new BBQ.
5. Ask friends and family
If you are unsure of what your hubby needs, ask others who know him well. Go to his co-workers or friends to see what he has been complaining about or saying he wants more of. You can ask his siblings or parents too if he is close with them.
If he has been spending a lot of time at home with you and the kids, set up a “guy’s night out”. It is so important for each of you to spend time with your own circle of friends and build that sisterhood/brotherhood you each need in your life.
What are some gifts that you’ve given your husband? Did he love them?